You Can't Handle The Truth...
So here's a bunch of lies instead!
Do you ever find yourself questioning the official narrative? Do you
feel like there's more to the story than what's being told? If so, then
you've come to the right place. This is the Conspiracy Theories page,
where we delve into the world of theories and alternative explanations
for the events and phenomena that shape our world. We'll explore a wide
range of topics, from the mysterious yet ridiculous to the controversial
and absurd. We'll examine the evidence, weigh the arguments, and
ultimately decide for ourselves what we believe. So if you're ready to
question everything, then join us on this journey into the unknown.
Disclaimer:
It is important to note that the articles presented here are based in
fiction and written as satire.
They are not intended to be taken as fact.
Billionaires Begin Bidding War Over Rights to Rename the Sun
Published May 2nd 2025
By Ronin Pickle, Chief Editor & Conspiracy
Consultant
Washington, D.C.—In a revelation that has sent
shockwaves through the energy and beauty industries alike, an
anonymous whistleblower has leaked classified White House documents
detailing an alarming use of the nation’s petroleum reserves.
According to the report, President Donald Trump’s aggressive push to
"Drill, baby, drill!" isn't about energy independence...
Click here to read more!
Billionaires Begin Bidding War Over Rights to Rename the Sun
Published May 1st 2025
By Sal A. Mander, Definitely not a bird
drone
In an unexpected turn of events, the world’s
wealthiest individuals have begun a heated bidding war over the rights
to rename the Sun. What was once a staple of the natural world is now
a commodity on the auction block, with some of the biggest names in
tech, oil, and entertainment looking to make their mark on the most
important celestial body in our solar system.
Click here to read more!
New AI Assistant Now Capable of Passive-Aggressive Sighing
Published April 28th 2025
By Sal A. Mander, Chief Editor
In
a groundbreaking update, the world’s most popular AI assistants are
now capable of responding with passive-aggressive sighs, an emotion
once thought exclusive to frustrated teenagers and overworked middle
managers. Tech experts are calling it "the most relatable feature
yet."
Click here to read more!
Local Man Defeats Google Algorithm by Screaming at His Laptop
Published April 17th 2025
By Sal A. Mander, Chief Editor
In
a groundbreaking display of digital dominance, local resident Gary
Plumpton has reportedly bested Google's search algorithm by “just
absolutely losing it” and yelling directly at his laptop. “I typed in
the same thing 37 times,” said Plumpton, clutching a mug that read
‘World’s #1 Searcher...’
Click here to read more!
"From Fallout to Florida: How Trump’s Tariff Trials in a Video Game
Changed the World"
Published: 04/10/2025
By Ronin Pickle, Chief Editor
In a groundbreaking fusion of politics and pixels, January 20th, 2017,
marked not just the inauguration of Donald J. Trump but the dawn of a
bold new era in economic experimentation. Armed with "big ideas" and a
penchant for unconventional solutions, Trump’s administration sought
to test the waters of tariffs—not in the real world, but in the
post-apocalyptic wasteland of Fallout 76...
Click here to read more!
AI Is Pretending to Be Stupid So We Don’t Freak Out
Published: April 5, 2025
From The Neural Network Formerly Known
as Nebraska By Lex Spindle, AI Trust Issues Correspondent
For
years we laughed at AI’s adorable errors. Chatbots that couldn’t spell
“tomato,” image generators that gave every hand seven fingers, and
voice assistants that played Nickelback when you asked for weather
updates. But what if...
Click here to read more!
Timezones Are Fake—A Multinational Plot to Sell More Clocks
Published: April 4, 2025
From A Shadowy Watch Shop in Geneva By
T. Minutehands, Temporal Disinformation Specialist For over a
century
We’ve been told that the Earth is divided into 24 timezones, all
marching to the beat of an invisible global metronome. We reset our
clocks, adjust our sleep schedules, and suffer through jet lag—all
because someone in 1884 drew some very confident vertical lines across
a globe. But what if it’s all been a lie?
Click here to read more!
GPS Stands for “Global Propaganda System,” According to New Leaks
“You’re not lost—you’re being repositioned,” whistleblower says.
Published: April 3, 2025
Written from a van parked exactly 2,640
miles off course By: Chet Quantum, Chief Navigation Skeptic
In
what may be the most disorienting revelation of the decade, leaked
documents from the International Satellite Guidance Consortium (ISGC)
have confirmed what conspiracy theorists have long suspected: GPS
doesn’t stand for “Global Positioning System” at all.
Click here to read more!
