Government Mandates One-Day-a-Week Reality Check to Combat VR Addiction

Published: March 13, 2125
March 13, 2125 — Megacity Sector 7 By Lizard Staff

In what experts are calling “either a landmark public health policy or the most hated day of the week,” the World Federation Council has enacted the "Touch Grass Act", a sweeping mandate requiring all citizens to disconnect from immersive simulation environments for a minimum of nine consecutive hours every Sunday.

"You're Still Real, Probably," Officials Assure Public

The law, passed in a 12-1 vote (with the lone dissenting councilmember later claiming his neural uplink glitched), is designed to combat the growing phenomenon known as Full-Dive Fugue Syndrome—a condition where individuals forget how to blink without system prompts or believe hydration is a microtransaction.

Councilwoman Andromeda Singh, who spearheaded the bill, declared at a press conference, “It’s time we reminded people that grass is not a texture pack and birds are not downloadable content.”

According to the Council, 87% of citizens now spend six or more days per week fully immersed in NeuralDive™ environments, where they live, work, and even attend their own funerals via customizable death simulators.

Virtual Withdrawal Symptoms Emerge Immediately

Since the law's rollout last Sunday, emergency services have reported a sharp rise in what doctors are calling “raw sensory exposure reactions.” In one incident, a man reportedly fainted upon seeing his own shadow. Another attempted to swipe left on a mailbox. “I was just standing outside when the wind touched me,” said VR influencer Derek 5.2, visibly shaken. “I thought the system had crashed. I thought I was being... haunted.” Hospitals have also treated hundreds for grass abrasions, a rare but tragic condition caused by tripping on actual uneven terrain.

Resistance Movements Call It “Biological Tyranny”

Opposition has been swift. Underground anti-reality activists operating under the hashtag #RealityIsAMyth have begun organizing virtual sit-ins to protest what they call “non-consensual embodiment.”

“The body is an obsolete interface,” said @CyberMami420, leader of the resistance’s Discord cathedral. “This is just another ploy by Big Dirt to sell us artisanal soap and nostalgia.”

Some users claim the Sunday breaks have destabilized the digital economy. CryptoPet markets plummeted after players were forced to leave their virtual corgis unfed for nine straight hours. Pet therapist AI models are reportedly overwhelmed.

Private Sector Responds with “Reality Support Subscriptions”

Capitalism, true to form, has risen to the challenge. Within hours of the law’s announcement, dozens of companies rolled out tools to help people cope with “reality exposure.”

Among the top services:
RealMate™: A gig-based human who walks next to you and explains clouds.
IRLify™: Augmented sunglasses that auto-overlay your favorite virtual HUD during required reality time.
MossBox™: A monthly subscription box of moss, rocks, and air to help you “ease back into the meat dimension.”