8 Out of 10 Americans Can’t Tell If They’re in a Dystopia or a Metaverse Beta Test

Published April 21st 2026
By Ashland Greaves, Staff Writer
Who Might Be Glitching

In a sweeping new survey conducted by the Pew-plex Institute of Existential Quantification, 8 out of 10 Americans admitted they “aren’t totally sure” whether they’re living in a crumbling real-world dystopia or an early-access version of Meta’s latest digital environment, MetaLife: Shadows & Subscriptions™.

NPC's, Glitches, & Ads... Oh My.

Participants cited “constant ads,” “glitchy government responses,” and “occasional NPC-like behavior from family members” as leading indicators. Many were further thrown off by the appearance of political figures who seem procedurally generated and the recent rise of "feelings-based currency."

“My landlord said rent was going up due to algorithmic sentiment,” said Vanessa T., 32, who’s currently residing in what she described as a ‘Tier 3 Reality Zone with lag spikes.’

Billionaire Plays Coy

Zuckerberg has neither confirmed nor denied whether society has fully migrated to the MetaLife servers. However, insiders claim a patch is coming to “adjust emotional gravity” and “tone down the 2030 vibes.”

Meanwhile, conspiracy forums have erupted with debate. One thread titled “Am I Glitching or Just Depressed?” gained over 90,000 comments and three endorsements from verified AI influencers.

Sociologists warn that blending reality and simulation might “cause ontological whiplash,” but others believe it’s already too late.

Survey Polling Looks Grim

As part of the survey's closing question, respondents were asked if they believed they had free will. Over half answered: “Yes, but only with premium access.”